Photogenic - NOT

I’ve joined the Facebook crowd. I thought it would be a good way to keep in touch with friends, renew old acquaintances, and most of all, keep up with my kids. The only thing I don’t like about it is all the pictures. I love looking at everyone else’s, but I hate posting my own. I take terrible pictures. Either that or I think I’m way better looking than I really am. In their August 2009 issue, Reader’s Digest published some tips on how to look good in photos. I took the magazine in the bathroom with me to practice in front of the mirror. Tip number one: “Focus your eyes just slightly above the camera lens, move your face forward a bit, and tip your chin down.” Sounds pretty simple, huh? Try it. I imagine myself thinking through these steps every time someone pulls out their camera to snap another potential wall posting. Focus up, face out, chin down. I look like a bird of prey. Tip number two: “Put your tongue behind your teeth and smile, which will relax your face.” Where else would you put your tongue? Tip number six: “Photos exaggerate everything, so go easy on the makeup.” Hmm. I’ve never worn a whole lot of makeup, mostly because I’m not very good at applying it. Tip number seven: “Practice the classic model pose” which is a three quarter turn toward the camera, one shoulder forward, one foot in front of the other. Just try adding these steps to the “focus up, face out, chin down.” Tip number eight: “For standing photos, belly in, buttocks tight, shoulders back, spine straight.” Tip number ten: “To feel at ease, try closing your eyes, then opening them slowly just before the photo is taken.” To feel at ease? They're kidding, right? How can I possibly feel at ease when I’m holding my face out, chin down, eyes up, body turned, shoulder forward, one foot out, belly in, buttocks tight, shoulders back, spine straight, and my tongue behind my teeth (which suddenly got hard to do)?
Add me as a friend on Facebook. I’d love to catch up, look at your pics. Just remember when you look at mine: I’m really a lot better looking in person. I'm just sure of it. :)